So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
