I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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