I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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