I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
