it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
