I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
