First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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