Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just invented taco cereal.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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