The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm both gender and math confused
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
