When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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