i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
