We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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