There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
