you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can't turn off my feet"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize