I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
