she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Randomize