we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
