covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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