im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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