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If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
