Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
