Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
