Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just google imaged poop.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so let's talk penis.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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