I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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