she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
