with your own penis?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize