i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
