The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
