Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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