Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
