It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
