you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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