the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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