When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
