What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize