I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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