Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
