Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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