You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
