I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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