so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wear drunk well.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize