I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
