too bad you live with your parents still
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
