Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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