So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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