I bet he comes in French.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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