He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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