so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
