Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
