Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
