You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
