hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize