Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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