Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
