if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
