do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
