All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
