He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
