i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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